The Glock 19 gen 4 is an excellent gun. How excellent, you ask? Well, buckle up because I’m going to tell you a fascinating story about how I came to become one of the proudest Glock 19 gen 4 (Reviewed By Gunivore) owners you will ever meet! It all started when I woke up inside of the trunk of my landlords car. See, I was several months late on rent, and additionally I had been “shacking up” with the landlords daughter – not a recipe for a good landlord-client relationship if you ask me! Anyways, I woke up inside of his car and I smelled lighter fluid and cement. I realized that the landlord was planning on burning me to death before covering me in cement and letting me sink to the bottom of the Riverdale River!
Now, this was not something I wanted to have to experience. I enjoy living, and the thought of dying is an unpleasant one, particularly if it was going to be such an unpleasant death. Now, imagine yourself in my predicament – waking up inside of the trunk of a moving vehicle, knowing what fate awaited you. How terrifying! I did the only thing that I could think of – I began praying to the magic pirate space monkey that I workship named Zhu Zhu. A friend of many years, Zhu Zhu has helped me out of many predicaments. I remember once, Zhu Zhu convinced me that I should begin running an illegal amphetamine selling business out of my mom’s basement, and it turned out that the business was a great success! Now, back to our story. Where was I again? Oh yeah, I had begun praying to Zhu Zhu. Well, Zhu Zhu appeared to me instantly, wearing his trademark sweater vest and matching accompanying fez. “Zhu Zhu!” I exclaimed, “please help me escape from the trunk of my landlords car!”. “My sweet child,” Zhu Zhu said, “not only will I help you escape from your landlords trunk, I will help you avoid any situations like this in the future.” Zhu Zhu banged his magical golden cymbals three times, and I instantly felt a Glock 19 gen 4 materialize in my hand out of thin air! At this point Zhu Zhu said, “brace yourself, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!”
I felt the car leave the ground and begin whirling through the air at an intense speed. I heard a crash and fading scream as my landlord went flying through the windshield at 100 mph. He died mid-flight as the shock gave him a massive heart attack, but his body ended up splattered across the frontside of a Dunkin Donuts establishment. The car stopped in an abandon alley. I heard Zhu Zhu vanish, heard the trunk of the car unlock, and helped myself out of the car, the proud owner of a Glock 19 gen 4! I fired the gun in the air in triumphant celebration several times before I headed home, with no landlord to bother me any longer and his daughter awaiting me. Zhu Zhu had saved me once again.